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I worked today and walking out with fireworks on the Horizon, made it feel lonelier than anything. Then put it in the prettiest box and ribbon you can imagine; put it in your heart visually. It was not my place, it was his, it is a very well hidden disease! My Grand-daughter told me "they do this on the school bus", it is the new HIGH and mostly younger kids are doing it. Phil did a special, I have learned tons from the internet. I have held this in way to long~~~~ A Mother Missing her son~Gaynell I lost my beloved husband suddenly to lung cancer Feb 28, 2010. He was hospitalized on a Monday after finding out and died the following Sunday, six days later. Some days I'm fine and other days I wake up and go to bed so sad and lonely I can hardly bare it anymore.

The Police that came that day said "talk about it to everyone, there is one death a day in the U. It is an awful hidden addiction - do not be afraid to talk to your kids, your grand-kids, any kids - the word has to get out, this addiction can kill you in 3 to 5 minutes. If my husband died for nothing, it would be harder to bear!!

Surprisingly, I never realized how stressed I was until after the day had passed.

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Early on, each year, it would be the couple of weeks that led up to the anniversary that always knocked me for a loop.

I suggest that you allow yourself this space and time to fully grieve.

And then, when the day is past, face the next year with renewed determination to live each day to its maximum potential.

Ellen Gerst is a Life Coach specializing in grief and relationships and the author of several books on grief, including "A Practical Guide to Widow/erhood," born out of Ellen's own experiences as a young widow; 101 Tips and Thoughts on Coping with Grief, an easy-to read reference guide filled with suggestions for every day use on moving through the grief journey; and "Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story." "Love After Loss" is a blueprint on how to use her successful method to redesign your life to include a new love connection after the loss of a partner. I am so sorry to have missed your posts, and everyone else... This has been a very hard road, I am NOT out of it by far, I am in the depression and acceptance I think.

Connect with Ellen on Facebook at Love After Loss (for daily relationship tips) and on Thin Threads of Grief & Renewal (for inspirational coping with grief thoughts). I go back and forth, crying, okay and think of our happy times, but not HAPPY if you know what I mean. When I lost him, someone said “one day you will remember the good times and smile”, I was horrified. It will be 5 years tomorrow July 4th 2009 since my husband passed. I believe remembering the memories of that person helps and not being afraid to talk about your loved one.

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