How to start dating after divorce
At e Harmony we understand how difficult it can be to re-enter the dating scene, especially if you have not dated for a very long time.
Here are some guidelines we have put together especially for divorcees. Go through the stages – according to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, there are five stages people go through when they suffer a loss, whether it is a death or a divorce.
These stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Everyone goes through them in their own time and perhaps in a different order.
It is important to understand what happened and to forgive yourself for any mistakes you think you made in the marriage.
The pain gets buried alive, and at some point in the future it will come up in order to be healed – better to do it now rather than compound the problem. The bigger picture – the decision to start dating again will not only affect you but also your family, particularly children from the marriage.If you are ready to date again you need to have reached the stage of acceptance. Give yourself time to heal – no matter how happy or unhappy your marriage was, it will take some time for you to heal and be ready to trust again. The longer you give yourself to heal the more likely it is that your next relationship will be solid and lasting. Connect with your life – the emotional, and sometimes financial, strain of a divorce can sometimes mean that other parts of your life get neglected.Reconnect with friends, start going out again, get your career back on track if it was affected, and above all else – learn to have fun again. Don’t take an anaesthetic – many people want to numb the pain after a divorce and may use another relationship, alcohol, drugs, food or work to distract themselves from the painful feelings of loss and failure.Afterwards it can feel like they have been left with only half a life.They don’t know how to care for themselves or spend their time without the relationship to define them.